


One of Those Days

by Yarniac



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autistic Merlin (Merlin), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Neurodiversity, Soft Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24993835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yarniac/pseuds/Yarniac
Summary: Nothing is going right and everything seems too much.It's just one of those days.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 130





	One of Those Days

Merlin was having one of those days. Things were going wrong everywhere he turned and it seemed that everything was piling on top of him, it was suffocating.

It had started in the morning.

He had woken up with Arthur as usual but the good morning kiss wasn't the bliss that it usually was. Arthur had grown a little stubble and Merlin couldn't help but inwardly cringe at the sensation.

Arthur left for work and Merlin went to the kitchen.

He tried to make some breakfast but everything was too loud. He switched off the kettle as it started to boil, and he steered clear of anything with crinkly wrapping.

He ended up skipping breakfast.

He couldn't even think about the feeling of brushing his teeth.

He felt disgusting.

It got worse when he got a phone call.

He tried his best to remember what he was being told, but the more he focused on that, the less he heard.

His frustration was building and he was starting to feel panicky.

He wanted to read a story but didn't want to read. He wanted to watch something but he didn't want to watch. He wanted Arthur but he wanted to be alone.

It was one of those days.

One of those days where everything is just a little louder, just a little more blinding, just a little bit too much.

Merlin put on a baggy hoodie and some loose pyjama bottoms.

He turned off the lights in their room and climbed on top of the bed with his light fluffy blanket.

He shut his eyes but didn't sleep.

When Arthur came home and called his name there was no answer.

Arthur frowned and went into their room.

He spotted Merlin under the thin blanket and noticed that he wasn't sleeping, though the lights were off.

He understood that Merlin had days like this. Sometimes Merlin wanted to be left alone, sometimes he needed Arthur there with him.

Arthur reached over and put his hand on the bed next to Merlin.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Please don't touch me," Merlin said softly, but not unkindly

"Do you need anything?" Arthur asked, equally as soft

Merlin was filled with a sudden ache in his chest. He didn't know what he did to deserve Arthur.

All of a sudden everything from the day was too much.

Merlin sniffled into his pillow and a few tears ran down his nose as his helplessness crashed over him.

Sometimes he wished he was just normal. Maybe then he wouldn't be as clumsy or forgetful. He would understand things instantly or be able to just _get_ instructions.

He remembered when Arthur brought him to a work party. He hadn't been able to keep up with the conversations and there were so many things happening at once.

They had ended up having to go home early. 

Merlin had felt so ashamed that he couldn't have been better for Arthur. When he mentioned that Arthur should probably get someone better, he didn't understand why Arthur got angry.

Arthur had explained after, when everything had settled down, that it wasn't Merlin that he was angry at. Merlin was still a bit confused about that but Arthur just told him that he loved him and that he didn't want Merlin any other way.

"I don't want someone else Merlin," he had whispered into Merlin's hair. "I don't want you to change. I want you to _always_ be you"

"Do you want me to stay?" Arthur asked, bringing Merlin back to the present.

"Don't go," Merlin's voice was almost inaudible.

Arthur sat on the side of the bed and kept his hand where it was, beside Merlin.

After a while, Merlin calmed. 

His hand snaked out from beneath his blanket and he rested it on top of Arthur's. 

Arthur turned his palm upward and Merlin laced their fingers together.

"Have you eaten?" Arthur asked quietly, breaking the silence.

Even though the words were quiet, he didn't miss Merlin's almost imperceivable flinch at the noise.

Arthur's heart clenched.

Merlin shook his head minutely.

"I'll go make you some potatoes, yeah?" Arthur said, making to get up.

Merlin's hand tightened its hold.

"You've got to eat something, love," Arthur said, with a worried little frown.

Merlin sighed and let go of his hand.

Arthur placed a gentle kiss on Merlin's hair and got up.

He knew it wasn't likely that Merlin would finish the meal. 

He just hoped that he could get him to drink something and that tomorrow would be better.

It was just one of those days.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written mostly from personal experience. Autism is a spectrum and everyone experiences it differently. I just really wanted to write about how it feels to me.  
> Now I just wish I had someone like my fictional Arthur to take care of me.


End file.
